Build the ultimate baseball team using only movie characters
If you had to put together a team made up entirely of characters from baseball movies, who would you choose? Would you call Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn from major league to close the big game? Would you put his former drum mate Jake Taylor behind the plate, or would you go with Dottie Henson, even though she may or may not have dropped the ball on purpose during the A league apart end?
After spending so much of my life watching every major baseball movie, I’m going to put my knowledge to good use and fill out an opening list of the best fictional players to step on the diamond.
Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner) For the love of the game. Of course, younger pitchers like Ebby “Nuke” Laloosh (Tim Robbins) of Bull Durham could start, but Chapel threw a perfect game and looked like he could go nine more innings if given the chance.
In the event that Chapel is removed from the game, Kit Henson (Lori Petty) from A league apart could come for relief work. And the end game is none other than Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn (Charlie Sheen) from major leaguewho we all know can come in with two outs in the top of the ninth and save the day.
And, an honorable mention goes to Henry Rowengartner (Thomas Ian Nicholas) of Rookie of the Yearwho could get out of a jam or at least distract opposing pitchers.
The receiver is usually the backbone of the team, the on-field coach if you will, so a strong leader who is able to handle the grueling day-to-day of the position is a must. That person is Dottie Henson (Gina Davis) from A league apart. The film’s most committed player, she proves time and time again that she has the physical and mental ability to control the pace of a match (and act as a de facto coach if need be).
Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) would be another ideal movie catcher to lead the team with his great baseball spirit and killer swing, but his tendency to lose his temper could cost us a game or two. And, Jake Taylor (Tom Bergeron) of major league is another option, but his knees might hold him back.
Clu Haywood (Pete Vuckovich) is on the opposite side in major league, but there’s no denying that the Chicago White Sox first baseman is one of the best fictional baseball players. I mean, he’s a three-time winner, has a .341 batting average, 48 homers, 121 RBIs, and had two home runs against Ricky Vaughn. Although not the most athletic of defensemen, Haywood is an intimidating presence at first base.
If Haywood were to be dropped from the roster the day after an overtime game, Lou Collins (Timothy Busfield) of little big league, Mister Baseball’s Jack Elliott (Tom Selleck), or a Stan Ross (Bernie Mac) at the end of the career of Mr. 3000 could come for backup, as well as hit a few dingers along the way.
Jackie Robinson of the late Chadwick Boseman of 42 would be perfect for second base, but unfortunately he can’t be on the roster because he’s based on a real player. That being said, Marla Hooch (Megan Cavanagh) of A league apart would be the ideal player for this position. She’s strong defensively and she’s probably the best power hitter in the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.
If Hooch were to leave the team midway through the season, versatile utility player Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley) of Bad news carries could take back the second bag.
Shortstop is probably the toughest position in the infield, so there needs to be someone with a high amount of skill, versatility, and leadership there. That person is none other than Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez (Mike Vitar) from The Sandlot. Possibly the most gifted and complete five-tool player in The Sandlot cast, Rodriguez dominates in hitting, hitting for power, running, lining up and throwing. Although not a full-time shortstop in the movie, “The Jet” is a legend capable of taking on the job.
If Rodriguez were to play in a different position, then teammate Alan “Yeah-Yeah” McClennan (Marty York) could step in and take on the role.
With third base, you need someone strong and athletic enough to jump up and stop a ball from going to the outfield and also pick up a fast ground and throw it first in time. It also doesn’t hurt to have someone with a bit of power in their swing. That person is Doris Murphy (Rosie O’Donnell) from A league apart. This confident and capable ball player was one of the best Rockford Peaches and is pretty much unmatched in every way.
Another option would be Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) from major leaguebut his history of deliberately missing routine games and being a complete jerk benches him.
Left field isn’t usually the position where you place the best player overall, but there have been some capable outfielders to fill the position over the years. Scotty Smalls (Tom Guiry) The Sandlot. He’s not as good as his teammates, but he has common sense and a habit of doing whatever he can to help his team, even if it means stealing his step-in-law’s precious Babe Ruth baseball. dad.
Another option for this position would be Ben Williams (Matthew McConaughey) from Outfield Angelswho could get help from his winged friends to steal a home run in a tough spot.
There’s no doubt here, Willie Mays Hayes (Wesley Snipes) of major league is the undisputed king of baseball movie centers. I mean, he’s the guy who didn’t get invited to spring training but still got a starting position (and a key role in that classic American Express commercial). His speed on the field and on the base path makes him a no-brainer for a guaranteed spot on the team.
But, if you wanted someone with better skills in the batting box, then Mae Mordabito (Madonna) from A league apart might do the trick.
Rounding out the team in right field is Roy Hobbs (Robert Redford) of Natural. Sure, he started off as a promising pitcher, but he became a pretty decent outfielder with a hell of a swing years after a shooting nearly ended his life and career.
Another ideal candidate is Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert) from major league, which could supply much-needed power to the plate. Either of these players could also serve as a designated hitter since Major League Baseball has banned pitchers taking swings (unless your name is Shohei Ohtani).
You can’t have a championship-caliber team without a decent coaching staff. Fortunately, there have been many baseball movie coaches over the years. Here are some possible members to expand the staff: major league‘s Lou Brown (James Richard Gammon) as head coach, A league apartJimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) as the hitting coach, For the love of the gameFrank Perry (JK Simmons) as pitching coach, and Hardball‘s Conor O’Neill (Keanu Reeves) as bench/assistant coach.
Overall, this is a team that could go along with any team, especially with the level of skill, power and versatility found on the field and at home plate.